"where are you?"
-i'm here.
"where?"
-here.
"where is here?"
-here. where the here is.
"where is the here?"
-here is where i am.
"so where are you?"
(pause)

-here.
where i am not there.

it's been a while...
yup. it's been awhile.
and i don't f*cking hell know what i'm doing.
thinking. i guess. dreaming. maybe.
planning. i don't think so. explaining. getting tired of it.
saving others save themselves. i believe i am becoming an anti-hero.
been watching and hell yes,
there are times that waiting is becoming a burden.
so much for being impulsive.
too much that it becomes self-destructive.
at a loss for a moment
but then again, moments do past by
faster than a blink of an eye.
and then suddenly fate will knock your headlights out
with a little less effort to show you what's your true worth.
and you'll be looking at your mirror image and see a different take.
everyone would like to agree, but all they are doing is
turning to look at the other way.
"...sad but true" according to Metallica.
when Bread wonders about "If" and ended in
"Just When I Needed You Most".


----

at a glance:

my first thought when i wake up:
back from the dead.
my most over-used phrase:
whatever!?!...
i am most afraid of:
being afraid
my favorite memory:
lots of it haha
the perfect pizza:
lots of cheese and ham smothered in hot sauce
craving for:
ice cold beer while lounging on the grass and looking up at the starry night sky
i believe i can:
do what i think i can whenever i think i can be what i think i can.
i think pets are:
a great companion to have around
what i have been doing lately:
busy becoming a ninja

"The great enemy of creativity is FEAR. When we're fearful, we freeze up...Creativity has a lot to do with a willingness to take risks. Think about how children play. They run around the playground without thinking about where they're going. They trip, they fall down, and then they get back up again and run some more. They have a wonderful belief: that everything will be all right. They feel capable; they let go; they play...Not matter how many facts and figures you have, you can't predict the future. There will always be surprises...Creativity helps us realize that we don't have to understand everything. We can enjoy something - feel it and use it - without ever fully comprehending it."

-- Faith Ringgold


October polly soundtrack:
Call and Answer
Barenaked Ladies

I think
it's getting to the point where I can be myself again.
It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends.
I think
its' the getting to the point that's the hardest part

Chorus:
If you call I will answer
and if you fall I will pick you up
and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home
I'll point you home

You think,
I only think about you when we're both in the same room
I 'm only here to witness the remains of loving you
You think,
we're here to play a game of who loves more than who

(Chorus)

You think,
It's only fair to do what's best for you and you alone
You think,
It's only fair to do the same thing for me when your not home
I think,
It's time to make this something that's more than only fair.

(Chorus)

I'm warning you, don't ever do...
those crazy messed up things that you do.
If you ever do, I promise you...
I'll be the first to crucify you
it's time to prove that you come back here to rebuild.
Rebuild..
Rebuild (repeat)

life is... music.

music is everywhere. it maybe the trees singing along with the wind. or the birds that chip and chatters. may it be orchestral, classical, rhythm and blues, rock 'n roll, jazz, country, disco, punk, grunge, rock, metal, techno, new wave, ballad, pop, alternative, acoustic, acapella, world music, or even choir songs. it's what makes life, such a neurotic blend. and i love music pretty much. the sounds of the streets are also music to my ears. apart from the noise, silence is such a relaxing tune. one may agree or not, i'm not a specialized listener (meaning listening to specific genre of music). i listen. that respect, i give to music. and music is everywhere. (put scene of "The Sound Of Music" here where Julie Andrews is singing on a hilltop --- i think it's the opening scene) maybe its no wonder we were given ears. we should all learn to listen.


music is a sanctuary. like the church quasimodo is living in.
or what the lost boys in never never land may be humming whenever they were fighting captain hook with peter pan.



September2006 pollysoundtrack

ESEM
by Yano

Patingin-tingin, di naman makabili
Patingin-tingin, di makapanood ng sine
Walang ibang pera kundi pamasahe
Nakayanan ko lang pambili ng dalawang yosi.

Paamoy-amoy, di naman makakain
Busog na sa tubig, gutom ay lilipas din
Patuloy ang laboy, walang iisipin
Kailangang magsaya, kailangang magpahangin.

CHORUS:

Nakakainip ang ganitong buhay
Nakakainis ang ganitong buhay
Nakakainip ang ganitong buhay
Nakakainis ang ganitong buhay

Gumagabi na, ako'y uuwi na
Tapos na ang saya, balik sa problema
At bukas ng umaga, uulitin ko pa ba
Ang kahibangang ito, sa tingin ko hindi na.


Nakakainip ang ganitong buhay
Nakakainis ang ganitong buhay
Nakakainip ang ganitong buhay
Nakakainis ang ganitong buhay
Nakakabaliw ang ganitong buhay
Di nakakaaliw ang ganitong buhay.

Currently Playing: Sanctity Of Dreams by Live
Birds Of Pray (2003)

Paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa
Ride a harley through the heart of danger
Pick up a pen and fight a war for the fight to dream
I was seventeen
Gave up my house sleep the nights on concrete
Meditate with all the bums on my street
No more runnin no more hiding in the house of the dead
I think I'll grow some dreads

I believe in the sanctity of dreams
No more running from these masquaraders
I believe that society will never dream like me

I dream of loving of the empty graveyard
I dream of vegas and the transcendental wild card
A place where no one waits to die before they go to the light
And just are blind outside
I follow nothing but the compass of my instinct
No matter where it leads I know it'll take me to the brink
And leave me there all by myself and all alone with my dreams
Can you hear my scream?

I believe in the sanctity of dreams
No more running from these masquaraders
I believe that society will never dream like me

Never dream like me
Society will never dream like me
Will never dream like me
I believe in the sanctity of dreams
No more running from these masquaraders
I believe that society will never dream like me
I believe in the sanctity of dreams
No more running from these masquaraders
I believe that society will never dream like me


-----
featured polly soundtrack for the devious at heart